New Gringa in Town

I have officially been at site for three weeks and it has been a rollercoaster. My program team knew me very well to put me in the site that I am. La gente (people) are so open and welcoming, so much more than I expected. I am the second volunteer at my site and the person before me left a lasting impact that the community is still swooning over. Someday's I am a little overwhelmed with how many things the community tells me that the person before me did and living up to their expectations and who came before me. I explain to them that we are different people and I will have different ideas so to bare with me as we navigate the communities needs. In my first day at site I was welcomed with a party at the school with all the teachers and community members and gave a small speech about myself. I'm glad I wrote a little speech on my phone before coming to site knowing that something like this would happen eventually. We ate the traditional food of ensalada de papas (potato salad) and arroz con pollo (chicken and rice). It was a nice start to my time at site to know who are my biggest supporters and who will help me with my adjustment here.

Somethings I've learned about site:

La gente in my site are basically all indigenous except for a couple homes with Latinos and Africanos. The indigenous people are Kuna (San Blas) and Ngäbe-Buglé. They each have very different life styles, beliefs, languages, traditional dress, but live in harmony. I love that I get to live with such a diverse community and I am constantly learning something new everyday. So on top of learning more and more Spanish, I am learning Kuna and Ngäbe.

I assumed everyone at site would be Catholic because the people of Panama are more likely to be Catholic, but there is a very large Pentecostal church here that has taken me in with open arms. They've fed me dinner, walked me around site, taught me Spanish hymns, and always send me away with a full heart. Going to church is the one thing that recharges my soul so far here at site so I'm grateful to have them.

At my site I think there are more kids than there are adults and so I have taken on the role of kid wrangler. I constantly have kids hanging on me, walking beside me, reading books with me, playing cards or dominoes, or knocking on my door. The kids are my favorite part about site so far and how loving they are. Indigenous people are more reserved than others, but the kids are usually not. They have no shame in calling you out when you speak bad Spanish or saying you cheated in a game. They are my mini guides of town and take me everywhere.

My site is more remote than I expected but I am glad that it has its challenges. I began my service without signal, without electricity, or running water. I began my first day explaining a water filter and why it is important to filter or boil water to my host family. And then still got a parasite during week 2 from drinking bad water. So filter your water people! It took four men to get my mosquito net up and I slept on a slab of wood for my first week. My first day I tried to help someone carry a giant bag of rice home because she was carrying two kids, but little did I know she didn't understand Spanish and she thought I was trying to mug her. After that incident I realized how much integration my first three months really would be. Now after three weeks it has rained enough to get some running water, my neighbor hooked my host family up with electricity, and I changed phone companies to get signal in spots of town.

Vulnerability:

I have never been a nervous or anxious person, only in high stress situations. But being on my own and really doing the real deal of starting my Peace Corps service has triggered some social anxiety that I have never felt or dealt with before. I have been on edge and anxious of talking to people in site because of the language barrier and sometimes peoples attitudes of me. I am constantly explaining that I am still learning things and I'm not 100% fluent in Spanish and everyday is a new opportunity for me. I have been trying different coping mechanisms and it helps so much. Doing some exercising in my room, going for a walk alone, watching a movie, reading a book in a hammock, writing in my journal, or sleeping in on my days off. Because of my new challenge mentally, I have made sure to fill my days so that I do not have too much alone time. I joined a women's soccer team, I go to church, I go to Tipico club, and have been trying to learn how to sew with the women's sewing group here. Developing a daily plan is very helpful for integration and for anxiety.

The future is looking very bright here. I have my future house saved for me already and some furniture left for me. My counterparts are amazing and my main community members are very supportive. I am excited to do some adults language classes, some before and after school programs, and start looking into other needs that the community expresses to me.

Update on Kaylee & Josh:

Josh is two weeks out from graduating from BMT and I couldn't be more excited to have him only a phone call away. Our letter writing has been very consistent and we've learned to love in the old fashion way. I have gotten two phone calls with him and unfortunately missed one from lack of signal on certain days here in site. Once graduating he'll finally know where he's heading for schooling and what his new daily schedule will be like for a couple of months. We are both excited to get into a groove and communicate more often. Long distance is hard, don't get me wrong. I have days of loneliness, but having letters to look back on really gets you through those days. Highly recommend letter writing, even if you see each other daily.

That is all for now about site, but I am sure it'll only get more fun from here on out.

Best,

Kaylee